Time is flying by at warp factor ten and my brakes aren't working - or at least that is what it feels like.
Funny that I should think that leaving work would mean more time to just drift along - so far it's been more exhausting than it was pre-lady of leisure - and boy does that sound like an insult now.
Alex is currently still on a restricted timetable of 1.5 hours per day at school as we still cannot get his behaviour modified. Sometimes he is a little angel and we think we've cracked it and then he blows his top at something silly and we're back to square one again. The school have been brilliant though, to give them their dues. The SENCO there firmly believes that Alex is trainable and that we will eventually succeed in getting him to restrain his frustration and find calmer ways of dealing with his issues of needing everything to run to his agenda.
Currently we have made an application to get him statemented - although I'm not entirely sure what advantage this offers us, if any. But they keep on mentioning special schools and the only one suitable for someone like Alex is an hour and a half drive away. But I guess it's going to take some time before anything is decided and I am worried that he is fast dropping behind in his education. We've tried attempting some education at home but there are too many other distractions and trying to force him to do anything he doesn't want to do just results in him having a massive tantrum and lobbing stuff around.
That sounds like we are not disciplining him enough but believe me we are. He loses his favourite things to do through bad behaviour and he knows that this will happen but it doesn't seem to be enough of a deterrent. I've resorted to smacking his bum rarely and that sends him into his bedroom but he then tells me I've been naughty and he will not accept that he was smacked for his own behaviour - and then I feel guilty !!!!!
Oh doesn't all of this sound self-pitying - sorry folks for that - but if anybody has any good ideas please don't hesitate to share them as I'm fast running out. The specialists make me laugh as they are all firmly against any form of corporal punishment, insisting that it never works and only a firm but gentle remonstrance will do the trick. And how many times have I seen him totally ignore these firm and gentle remonstrances or not even really understand them. Then he goes off and does the same thing again.
I'm knitting him a cat at the moment :) He wanted one to call Harry, but there is no way I'm having a real cat as Alex will probably hug it flat. So he's getting a knitted cat that will take the punishment and not scratch him. :)
There's all sorts of knitted toys lying around or waiting to be worked on. I've so many ideas now I'm going to have to jot them down as I keep forgetting them and then remembering them later on.
I've treated myself to two more of Allison's lovely handpainted yarns - I'm collection all DK so that they will all look good once knitted into blocks and stitched together. I didn't have a colour theme to begin with but it's now morphed into purples - so I'm intending to make me a shawl jacket of knitted blocks in mainly purples with accents coming from the other colours in the varigated handpainted yarns. But as I need a lot of yarn for a garment to fit me, I am going to have to decide which blocks I want, and how many, and then knit them up as I can afford to buy the yarn. But my birthday is on Sunday 27th March - which also happens to be Census Day and the start of British Summer Time - so I'm hoping for donations from various family members to swell the knit fund and let me buy more yummy DK for my jacket.
Having said that, I need a way to add a few more knitting hours to the day as well - I'm working on that one. I'll have to look on ebay to see if I can get a second hand Tardis - one carefulish owner :)
Sounds like times are trying at the moment! I have heard that animals can help to 'unlock' autistic children - something about non verbal comunication I think, if you could bear to have an animal it could provide some help?
ReplyDeleteFrom what I understand of statementing it would provide the school with extra funds so that Alex can have someone with him on a 1 to 1 basis in his lessons or instead of being with the rest of the class, plus they can deal with the issues by taking him out of the classroom situation when things get tricky. This should mean he can spend more time in school instead of at home. Plus they can get a specialist to give them assesments as to how best to work with him.
Discipline is something that autistic people don't always understand and can be frustrating for you both. Have you tried the time out step?
More for you then Alex, 1 minute for every year of his age (like super nanny). Other than that I don't have any magic answers only to say hang on in there, try as many different approaches to the situation as possible and don't assume that because something worked once it will do so the next time as often it doesn't but can work again at another point in time.
I have a handicapped sister who was in her 20's before they decided she was autistic as well - it answered so many questions.
As always support is only a message away! Sxx
Hi Claire.You are having a rough time.I agree with Sarah that "time out" is a good idea.Is there a room he can go in ,without toys,that is safeI doubt he would stay on a naughty step.Does he understand rewards?A reward for good behaviour is more positive and if you started with something small,say a achocolate bar or a small car for 5 stars on a chart(or marbles in a jar).I hope they come up with something better than a school 90 minutes away.Thinking about you.
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